Reflections
by Mei Queen
Summary: Follows Lily Evans from the First Year through her Head Girlship with James Potter. It skips through a few years in the latest update, which will be posted ASAP as the first few chapters are already written. A fun and witty read.
1. Beginning of a Lifestyle

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_**Reflections**_

**Mei Queen**

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**Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to J.K.R. herself…damn it.**

**Author's Note:** One of my main goals in this story is to stay as true to the canon Lily and James as possible, so if you notice any discrepancies, please let me know. I'm really trying my best not to stray from JKR's already amazing storyline, but rather to fill in the gaps in the way that I think they happened. There will probably also be some grammatical discrepancies as I wrote this fairly quickly (I was inspired). Oh, and one more thing. This is written from Lily's point of view, and she's pretty much looking back on her memories. Well, on with the show-

* * *

**Chapter 1: Beginning of a Lifestyle**

It is common knowledge that young hearts are often impressionable and stupid. I, Lily Evans, can tell you that mine, at the tender young age of eleven, was no different. No different at all.

When I received my letter informing me of what awaited me at the magical school of Hogwarts, I was floored. Literally, floored…I passed out in the kitchen, actually. Mum brought me round a few minutes later, but that's beside the point… Anyway, I was thrilled and nervous at the same time. I would be entering not only classes on subjects I did not know existed, but an entirely new culture. Would magical people be nice? Would everyone like me? I had no idea, but my eager mind was willing to give it a try.

After an eye-opening trip to Diagon Alley, I began leafing through my new schoolbooks. Some of these subjects looked absolutely fascinating…Transfiguration, Astronomy, Charms. And certain subjects, I could tell just by looking at the book's cover, I was in for a long haul with… (Potions, anyone?)

Well, imagine my surprise when classes were not the first thing on my mind when I arrived at King's Cross Station on September 1st. In fact, there wasn't much else on my mind except for finding out the name of that gorgeous sandy-haired boy. Most people don't believe that it's possible for an eleven-year-old to fall in love, and most believe that eleven-year-old girls shouldn't even know boys exist. Well, I've got news for them. If their eleven-year-old selves had seen Remus Lupin, they would have noticed too.

I first noticed him when I was getting out of the car, and Mum was helping me unload my luggage from the trunk of the car. I had turned around to grab my owl from the backseat, and I saw him through the backseat window. With blue eyes and messy sandy hair, he had a thin, lanky figure. He was wearing Muggle clothes, and getting out of a car as well. I wondered briefly whether he was a mere Muggle before noticing he had an owl and a school trunk, too. _He's going to Hogwarts!_ I had thought so excitedly. He kissed his mother on the cheek, as I did mine, and both of us began walking towards where I assumed Platform 9 ¾ must be…between Platforms 9 and 10. Right?

"Hogwarts too?" the boy cautiously asked, looking at me, and taking in my full fiery appearance.

"Yep," I said, trying as best I could not to make it extremely obvious I adored him.

There was an awkward silence, and the boy finally cleared his throat. "Um…what was the platform number, again?"

"9 ¾," I responded eagerly, before noticing why we had stopped.

There was no Platform 9 ¾, at least any that I could see.

Fortunately, (or unfortunately, in my case, as it definitely cut the amount of time I could have spent getting to know the boy to a minimum), two other boys came along at that precise moment. Both of them were tall, slender, and had dark hair, but that's about where the similarities ended. One seemed to have a debonair appeal along with that brown hair and those chocolate eyes, and even though we were all very young then, it was obvious to me even then that this boy would grow to be an extremely handsome man. Then there was the other one. Ebony hair that looked like his cat had slept on it and then the demonic cat had turned around and put gel in some parts to keep them standing proudly at ninety degree angles, glasses with broken frames that showed just how blind he actually was sliding down his nose, I did not so much think he was ugly as unkempt.

"Hogwarts, too?" the debonair one asked.

I nodded, as did the sandy-haired boy whose name I hadn't even asked yet.

"Muggle-born?" the other demanded, glasses sliding a bit on his nose.

I drew a blank. I had heard the word "Muggle" slung around casually when I was shopping in Diagon Alley, but I really did not remember quite what it meant. I looked at the sandy-haired boy, hoping he knew what they were talking about.

"I'm a half-blood, but I came with my Muggle mum, so I don't know how to get on the platform," he said simply. "I think she's definitely Muggle-born though."

"Alright, then, um…" the debonair boy paused in his instructions. "What were your names again?"

"Didn't say them," the sandy-haired boy responded. "I'm Remus. Remus Lupin."

_Remus…_my heart fluttered. _Mrs. Lily Lupin…oh, that flows so well!_ As my heart privately exploded with joy, the other three boys look at me like my heart was literally exploding. _Oh, no…I didn't say any of that out loud, did I? _My whole brain was panicking.

No, I had not said anything out loud, but that is the main reason they were looking at me so incredulously. Remus had asked my name about ten minutes ago and I was staring at him in what can only be described as "dreamy delight."

"Hello?" the debonair boy asked rudely, interrupting my reverie. "What is your name? Do you think she's an exchange student, James? Hmm…qué es tu nombre? Hmmm? Hablas español?"

"Oh…" I said softly. "Lily."

James shoved him at that point. "All right, then. It was nice to meet you, Lily. Sirius, what say we get on the platform? Remus, Lily, come with?"

All three had turned toward the wall and disappeared before I even thought about moving an inch.

* * *

I had definitely stopped daydreaming when I realized I was alone on one side of the barrier, had approximately three minutes to get to the other side, and with no knowledge of how to do so. I began to panic, looking for any person who was hurrying and looking late, just one kid carrying a trunk or an owl…Anything…

The one thing that has always thrown me off about Sophie is that she honestly believes that she is never late…If she arrived at King's Cross at 11:05 AM, and found that the train had already left, she would find a way to Hogwarts and throw a fit about the injustice of trains that do not wait for the extremely stylish who do not have time to just sit around and allow their designer duds to wrinkle sitting in a compartment like all the other children, or something like that. That was just Sophie. But back to the point.

Eleven-year-old Sophie was strolling casually toward the barrier with blonde hair that was already expertly highlighted. Her designer sunglasses sat neatly in her long, shiny mane, and her smile had a brilliant, perfect sparkle. All of her clothes seemed to be cut to exactly fit her (it never occurred to me until later that they actually were), and she walked expertly in stilettos at the age of eleven. If Sophie wasn't cut out for big things later in life, who was?

While many girls and many, many guys in Sophie's lifetime would be completely intimidated by her, I was, on the other hand, not. Her stylish appearance did not make me feel guilty or depressed about my own belongings because the feeling simply didn't occur. To a great degree, I think that's what actually made us friends. Sophie found an equal that didn't treat her differently because of her attitude or her attire, and while it was definitely odd to her, she realized as much as I that she had found someone she could really be close with.

Her teal eyes took me in, with my bright red hair that was hastily in a ponytail, bright green eyes that seemed close to tears, and skinny figure that was clothed in clothing that most definitely did not match. ( I was still in my rebellious colors stage…I figured SOMEDAY someone would realize what an inspiration green slacks and purple knit jumpers are…sadly, I realized that I was fighting a losing battle eventually, and those clothes are hidden somewhere in the back of my closet at home…I shudder to think of it, actually.) Her initial simple expression of disgust turned to pity as she regarded my upset facial expression.

"Are you having trouble getting on the platform?" she asked simply.

"Yes, I'm afraid I don't know how," I said softly.

"Okay, well, just jog towards the barrier, it will actually dissolve and you'll be at the train. That's what my dad said," the blonde said.

I nodded, and after we were both safely on Platform 9 ¾ , I looked at the clock. 11:00_. Oh, no!_

I started to sprint towards the train.

"Now, really. No need for that," the blonde wheezed as she attempted to jog and not break her fragile shoes all at the same time.

"We'll be late. Are you crazy?" I asked in awe, and she resolutely stopped jogging, and walked at a moderate pace.

The train gave its final horn blow, and the conductor was about to signal his ok to the engineer to get the train moving when he noticed the two girls.

"You're late," he said stiffly. "Find your own way."

"I most certainly will not!" the blonde said resolutely, hands on her hips.

At eleven, yes, Sophie was standing up to an adult, and when she was in the wrong… but with Sophie, wrong and right are generally irrelevant, and she'll argue her point anyway.

"Why should I let you two on when other students have been early and patiently waiting to leave?" the conductor asked simply over the insistent horn blows of the engineer. Now some kids were peeking out of the windows of their compartments to watch the scene unfold.

"My father is the primary donor to the school!" she screamed with irritation. "Now let me on this instant, before I Floo to Daddy and demand he cut off all funds to Hogwarts…AND it's inefficient transportation workers!"

"What's your name?" the conductor asked softly, sufficiently shaken by the powerful little girl.

"Sophia Lestrange," she said stiffly, drawing herself up to her full height.

The man's eyes bulged. "I'm so sorry, Miss Sophie, I didn't recognize you, normally you've got brown hair…."

"Highlights," Sophia muttered irritably as she climbed aboard the train, with me meekly in tow.

* * *

From then on, I learned some essential facts about Sophia Lestrange. She absolutely despises being called Sophia, and only accepts the name "Sophie" from most people, or any bizarre nickname I, as best friend, can twist out of Sophia's name. The Lestranges, she had told me in the safety of our shared train compartment, had a very bad reputation. She told me that there was a dark force rising, and his name was not to be spoken as it generated so much fear. She had been born with a cushy lifestyle and part of the reason she never saw her mother was that her mother had gone to the Dark Side, and her father was quite nearly there as well. Sadly, a truth in this life is that the only thing that can seduce the wealthy to give away their wealth is if there is even more wealth promised at the end…and these thoughts of doubling up in profits were slowly seducing Sophia's extremely wealthy father. She had an older brother, Rodolphus, who was already out of Hogwarts.

"You-Know-Who's already gotten to him," she said stiffly.

"What do you mean, Sophie?" I asked softly.

"We've practically been raised in different homes, because he's always been with my mother, learning about You-Know-Who and his plans to cleanse the wizarding world of muggle-borns, and he's just… he's just an evil person, Lily. He was sorted into Slytherin, and so was his girlfriend, Bellatrix."

"What's Slytherin?" I asked softly.

"It's a house. There are four…Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Slytherin almost always produces bad witches or wizards…and I'm afraid I'll end up in there too, Lily. Almost all my family has been, and they'll be disappointed if I don't get in, but I'll be mad at me if I**do** get in…_you know_?"

I nodded, even though my naïve mind could not see the reason why any particular house would be better than the others to get into. All I knew on that train ride was that whatever house I ended up in, I wanted it to be the one that had both Sophie and Remus. Rico Suave and Four Eyes could be in a different one for all I cared, but I definitely wanted to end up with Sophie and Remus.

* * *

A couple hours into the ride we heard a knock on the door of compartment.

"Come in," Sophie said with sigh.

"He-_hello!_" Sirius' general greeting had turned to a debonair welcome as he sat on the seat near Sophie.

Her eyes rolled in disgust, and looked at me with the clear message- _Can you believe this guy?_

"Was there something you guys wanted?" Sophie asked icily, looking at the three boys in our doorway.

"We're just trying to get to know all the first years," Four Eyes explained. "Just in case we end up in houses together, at least we'll know everybody's name."

"Well, you already met me, and this is Sophie Lestrange." I said simply, sneaking a glance at the gorgeous sandy-haired boy in the doorway and blushing slightly.

"Lily," he replied warmly. "We never introduced ourselves that well, though…this is Remus, of course, this charmer is Sirius Black, and I'm James…James Potter."

I smiled impatiently and nodded. Would they just get out of our compartment before I said something really stupid and embarrassed myself in front of Remus somehow?

Sirius sat up from the seat where he was practically drooling on Sophie, much to her disgust. "Sophie Lestrange, eh?" he asked.

James flashed his eyes dangerously in his friend's direction, as if silently pleading him not to say anything stupid. James was not in the mood to pick fights with rumored Dark Side wizarding families right now.

"Yes," Sophie said icily. "Do you have a problem with my name?"

"Well," Sirius said with irritation flashing in his normally peaceful chocolate eyes, "I just wonder if you're the rich brat Sophia Lestrange, with a family of the Dark Side, major shopping problems, and depression at eleven because you claim to be 'misunderstood'. You're all over the Daily Prophet, you know."

I saw many unusual things on September 1st on that train, on the way to the wizarding world. But none quite as unusual as the duration of time it took for the impact of Sirius' statement to sink in inside the compartment and Sophia's fist to collide with his face.

"Get him out of my sight," she snarled, cheeks pink with anger.

James and Remus nodded, and escorted their friend out of the compartment.

Sophie shut the door with a slam that endangered the glass, and sat down in a huff on the seat. "I'm totally haunted by my family, Lily! I can't get away from it! I hate it! I didn't do the things that got us known as bad people, and yet those acts and decisions will haunt me for the rest of my life! It's just so unfair!"

I did the best I could that day to comfort Sophie. I had only had small friendships in the past, and I certainly had no idea how much the poor girl must be hurting, especially considering the fact that she just had nobody else to talk to, but I did my best to comfort her, nonetheless.

* * *

That train ride seemed to last a lifetime. When we finally got off the train, Sophie was considerably mollified, only occasionally shrieking about what a jerk that Black was, and how she would get revenge and etc. etc. etc.

Then Sophie and I noticed the extremely large (okay, a giant) man holding a lantern and beckoning us to follow him towards a black glassy lake. There were small rowboats tied to the dock, and the man was gruffly shouting instructions.

"Four to a boat now! Come on, move on, move on! Four to a boat! Firs' years this way! He took a boat all to himself (not because he wouldn't share, but because as far as I could tell, his size just couldn't permit it), and began to lead the way. Sophie and I, of course, got into a boat together, but as three very shady youngsters were fighting over the last spot in a boat full of other shady students, the large man turned in his boat and said, "You! Yeah, you with the sandy 'air! You're going ter be the last person in that boat, and you two (pointing to the shady students) will fill up that boat…"

Sophie and I breathed a sigh of relief as the large man directed to the two shady looking boys to the boat next to us.

"One of those is my cousin," Sophie whispered softly. "He's really into the Dark Side."

Content that we possibly were really going to get to go two to a boat on this trip, Sophie and I smiled at each other.

There was just one thing we weren't counting on.

"Hey, you two!" the large man yelled at the last two boys left on the dock. "You two will fill up that boat!"

Of course, the last two were none other than…

"I didn't think we'd be meeting up quite so soon, Sophia, darling," Sirius began, holding a magical pack of ice to his right eye, "but I sincerely want to thank you for putting me in my place back there. I have to be slapped every once in awhile, mainly just because otherwise I would have no physical contact with the opposite sex at all."

Looking back on that I realize that eleven-year-old boys really shouldn't be having contact with the opposite sex anyway, but at the time, it was pretty damn funny.

Sophie snorted, and I could tell by her expression that Sirius was forgiven. She turned to him, and said simply, "All right. It's a truce. You don't make fun of my family and my history that I have no control over and I'll hit you when you need to brag about a girl 'touching you'."

Sirius seemed genuinely happy with this arrangement and leaned contentedly back on the seat, clutching his ice pack to his eye protectively.

* * *

_The idea of a sorting seems easy enough_; I remember thinking eagerly after hearing McGonagall's speech about what was involved in the process.

_You just somehow are chosen for a house. I wonder why Slytherins are seen as so evil, anyway…_

In the short amount of time that we had to wait for the Sorting to begin, I found out exactly why Slytherins were so evil. It had nothing to do with their families directly, but everything to do with their intolerance and prejudices that those families instilled in their children…their evil, cruel and calculating children that began to pick on me within minutes of my entrance into the magical world, all for reasons that were most definitely beyond my control.

It was one of the Slytherin boys Sophie and I saw at the dock. "_One of those is my cousin"_, she had said. It was her cousin that was quickly approaching Sophia and me, as we stood near James, Sirius and Remus.

"Sophie, darling," the voice drawled.

"Lucius," she said evenly.

"Didn't peg you as the type to go hanging out with Mudbloods…especially ones with this bad of a taste in clothing," he said, finishing with a sneer.

Four people were looking infuriated at once. James, Sirius, Remus and most of all, Sophie, all looked furious. I just looked a little befuddled at the time, because, of course, I had no idea what Mudblood even meant…but it must be extremely vicious if it had caused them to react this way.

"Malfoy, you apologize this instant!" James demanded, eyes looking deadly behind his slipping glasses.

"And Potter, playing the saint again? Honestly…get a new hobby. Besides, why are you hanging out with Lestrange? She's bad news, she is. We're cut from the same cloth…she's family. She can't ever escape that."

With this, a sick grin played at Malfoy's features.

"Malfoy, just leave. You've insulted my friends and me, now leave. I don't want to speak with you again," Sophie said with a deadly voice that meant business.

Malfoy simply smiled and said, "As you wish, Sophia."

Turning on his heels and walking towards the Great Hall, the Sorting, and the beginning of a life at Hogwarts, I knew that my start at Hogwarts was not the only start I was beginning right at this moment. Right now, I had already set the wheels in motion- I had befriended Sophia, and hers is a friendship I would treasure for the rest of my life, established at least a friendly acquaintance with James and Sirius, and developed a crush on Remus so deep that I dared not label it a crush at the time. It felt like heart-stopping real love, the kind you always saw in Muggle movies. I had also, though this was definitely not by my own preference, become a target for oppression because of my parentage, a status that would, I am sad to say in hindsight, never change throughout all my years at Hogwarts. Yes, stepping through those double doors meant something more than just the start of a school…it was the start of a lifestyle.


	2. Getting to Know You

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_Reflections_

Mei Queen

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Author's Note- This chapter contains characters Alice DuPont and Emmeline Vance…in the Order of the Phoenix, Emmeline is mentioned as a member that  
Harry has met, and since I didn't know Alice Longbottom's maiden name, just so you know, that's who Alice DuPont is supposed to be. There really wasn't a clear enough description of the dorm for me to feel guilty for including a restroom…hope that minor discrepancy doesn't bother anyone. McGonagall is the Transfiguration teacher for my story, because as the Dark Force was rising, I see that Dumbledore would have replaced Dippet. Also, Lucius is technically supposed to be older than Lily and James, but I put him at the same age, because I wanted someone who was a feasible cousin to Sophie. For those of you being irritated with the Lily/Remus thing, it won't last…I just wanted an explanation for how close Remus and Lily seemed when Lupin talked about her in the Azkaban movie. Okay, that's all I have to say…thanks for reading and please review!

* * *

Chapter 2: Getting to Know You

Perhaps the most common question I was asking myself during the Sorting was, "_Is this really worth it? Is this school going to be worth the torture of having to deal with people like Malfoy every day?"_

Deep, deep down I knew that it was, of course…are you kidding? The chance to do magic instead of maths? I'd have to be bonkers to pass that chance up. But as my knees shook standing in the Great Hall, something of a spectacle for all the upper students, concentrating on the magical aspect and redeeming qualities of Hogwarts was becoming difficult to do.

"Black, Sirius" had been sorted already, and he was in Gryffindor. Now that Sophie had made peace with the guy, I wouldn't mind being in his house. I was just hoping beyond hope that I could end up in the same house as Sophie and Remus.

"Evans, Lily!"

McGonagall looked up from her scroll a bit and seemed to beckon me forward. I didn't bother wondering how she knew who I was, but I could feel my body shake and face begin to turn red as I continued that walk that seemed to last a lifetime. _Please, not Slytherin,_ I silently begged. _I would rather be anywhere that right under the nose of all the people who hate me for my blood._ Sophie had explained to me very briefly what the term "Mud-blood" meant, and now there was heaviness in my heart that had never been there before. I had never been discriminated against, being the standard upper-class, white female; I never really knew what it was to be disliked. However, my eleven-year-old self was well aware that if I were to be placed in Slytherin, I would suddenly know all too well what discrimination is like.

McGonagall lowered the hat onto my head as I clutched the seat of the stool for fear of falling off from the violent nervous shaking that was currently racking my body. Then, the most extraordinary thing happened- the hat spoke.

I must say that in all my eleven years, the closest thing I had seen to an enchanted hat was one of those hats that magicians magic rabbits out of, and everyone knows that they're frauds, probably hurting the poor bunny by pulling it through a hole in the table or something. But this was most definitely different.

"Lily," the hat whispered. "Where should I put you?"

I wasn't really sure whether this question was rhetorical, but more than anything I wasn't sure whether the hat needed me to speak for it to understand. _Not Slytherin,_ I thought over and over, hoping it would understand my thoughts.

"Not Slytherin? You're Muggle-born, as well…no, I will not put you in Slytherin, I suppose, though you are ambitious. The houses were not intended to have as large of divisions as they do…the school didn't use to be like this…indeed, it is a pity…but where to put you?"

Briefly, I wondered whether the hat divulged information about the school to everyone, because some people's sorting seemed to be a lot faster than others.

"No, I do not tell everyone information, Lily. But I expect great things from you, you see…I know that the division you experience now will become much worse later, and I do not want it to haunt you in school. Your bravery in the face of the dangers to come will be impressive. Indeed, I make my decision…"

I had barely any time to register what the hat had said, when the hat loudly shouted, "Gryffindor!" to the students who had been patiently waiting for a few minutes.

I walked uncertainly to the table that was proudly decked out in scarlet and gold, and sat down to think about what the hat had said, and watch anxiously as the other first years were sorted.

"Lestrange, Sophia!"

The hat only took a few moments when it shouted that Sophie was to be a Gryffindor. Later, Sophie told me that she had been thinking desperately the whole time of anything but Slytherin, but mainly that she wanted to be in Gryffindor. She wanted her bravery in the face of her family to be one of her most redeeming qualities back then, and indeed, it is still one of her most fantastic qualities that I can think of as I write this. She also wanted to spite her family by being in the house that is something of an arch-enemy to her family's usual house.

"Lupin, Remus" became a Gryffindor, much to my young heart's delight, and to nobody's surprise, "Malfoy, Lucius" became a Slytherin, perpetuating the family tradition. "Potter, James" became a Gryffindor, a fact to which I was rather ambivalent, as I was already deep in conversation with Sophia about my dress sense. She said she applauded my bravery at trying to make truly unstylish things hip and doing so with self-confidence, but then she took my hand in hers and said unfortunately there is only a fine line in the fashion world between courage and idiocy. She had vowed to make me her little apprentice, and she was deep in plans to mentor me in such fascinating subjects as "Accessories 101" and "Intro to Matching Colors".

I was thrilled, really. Actually I think my true feelings on the subject were betrayed all too well by my arched eyebrows and facial expressions of disbelief. Why anyone would care that much about clothes was beyond me then, but looking back, I'm thrilled that Sophie took me under her wing…Heaven knows…if it weren't for Sophie, I might have found myself a personal victim of the tie-dye craze….Oh, the horror…

After a big feast in which I ate quite an inordinate amount of food, Sophie and I went up to our dorms along with the other Gryffindors.

* * *

Hogwarts was the most amazing thing I had ever seen…I had several conversations with portraits on the way up to dorm (it utterly fascinated me that they could not only move in their own paintings, but move into others as well) and watched lazily as a staircase shifted on Lucius and another Slytherin boy with sallow, pale skin and long black hair who I learned later was called Severus (they had already tried to scout out the Gryffindor dorm for prank purposes).

* * *

We found that we were sharing our dorm with two other girls, Alice DuPont (a slightly stocky girl who was extremely clumsy, but definitely good-intentioned) and Emmeline Vance (thin with long brunette hair, she was not as clumsy as Alice but definitely more chatty).

"Did you see the paintings?" Emmeline was asking Alice in awe. They were already well acquainted with each other, having sat next to each other at dinner, and Emmeline was Muggle-born.

Alice chuckled in response, and smiled at Sophie and me as we entered the room. "Hello!" she greeted.

"Hello," I said brightly. "I'm Lily Evans, and this is Sophie Lestrange."

Emmeline smiled and extended her hand. "I'm Emmeline Vance, you can call me Em though, and this is Alice DuPont."

There was a chorus of "how do you do's" and "nice to meet you's", and then Sophie and I got the chance to look around the dorm. Four scarlet velvet four-poster beds sat equidistantly around the room, and there was a door that led to the restroom as well. Emmeline and Alice caught us looking, and Em said, "We were waiting for you to get here before we picked our beds. Which ones would you like?"

Alice politely refused either of the beds next to the window, because she was claustrophobic, so she didn't like totally drawing the drapes, and any light that might seep in through the drapes would make it impossible for her to sleep.

"I'll take one of the beds by the window, it doesn't bother me," I said softly.

Sophie ended up taking the other bed by the window, Emmeline took the bed next to Sophie, and Alice took the bed next to me. Now that we were all settled in our respective beds, it was time to turn conversations to the topic of the evening- _the boys in our dorm._

I mentally crossed my fingers then, and hoped that nobody else thought Remus was cute, because I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation, but for some reason, it becomes much more difficult to tell your feelings to others when they share them. I, for example, would rather tell the girls that thought Remus was ugly that I liked him than the ones that have feelings for him, because who knows if your sharing of what a great guy Remus is will propel them to ask him out…it's just disconcerting, especially for an eleven-year-old mind that has most definitely never been in love before- or at least, in what I thought then was love.

"Who do you two think is cute, Sophie and Lily?" Emmeline asked from her bed, where she was grooming her nails with a file.

"Nobody, they're all idiots," Sophie said with complete bluntness.

"Lily…" Emmeline said, turning to me with a sparkle in her eye.

"I don't really know yet," I lied rather unconvincingly. "Why, is there anyone you two think is cute?"

"That Sirius Black is really, really cute," Em said simply. Sophie chose to simply snort in disbelief as a response.

"I don't know, Sirius is really cute, but James is a real sweetheart," Alice responded. "Remember, Em, how he was helping you with wizarding things that you didn't understand? He's just a really great guy."

I rolled over so I was lying on my stomach on the bed, and said, "He may seem all right, but he really is rather impatient, and he left me outside the platform. If it weren't for Sophie, I might just still be there."

This comment took a few moments to sink in, and then there were a few murmurs about what an asinine thing that was for James to do, a statement that I wholeheartedly agreed with.

"Who else is there in their dorm, anyway?" Sophie asked with mild disinterest.

"Well, there's Sirius and James," Em ticked them off on her fingers.

"Remus," I spouted up quickly, hoping nobody noticed how much I was blushing about just saying his name. Sophie had noticed though, and was slyly grinning at me…she definitely knew, but I put my finger over my lips and hoped she'd get the point. I didn't want the other two to know, at least not yet.

"Isn't there another one?" Alice asked thoughtfully.

"The nervous guy," Sophie said in revelation, finally remembering.

"I think I heard them say his name was Peter," Em said thoughtfully.

"Of course! It's Peter Pettigrew," Alice said triumphantly.

"Do you know him?" I asked.

"Well, I used to. He's a pureblood, as am I…and all those families are interrelated. I think he's my second cousin thrice removed or something like that."

"I never understand how family trees work. Once cousins become more than first cousins and somehow get removed, I start to get a headache," Em said with a groan. Sophie and I murmured our agreement.

"So are you sure there's nobody you think is cute yet, Lily?" Sophie asked with a sly grin.

"Um…I suppose…um…Remus is rather sweet," I said nervously.

"Yeah, he's a really nice guy," Alice continued. "I think his father is related to one of my many third cousins rather distantly, not that third cousins aren't distant enough. The thing with Remus though, is he isn't very reliable. He was always sick, and canceling on the play dates our mothers arranged for us when we were younger. I don't know if he just didn't want to hang out with me, or if he was really that ill all the time."

"I'm sure it wasn't that he didn't want to hang out with you," Em said sympathetically.

"S'okay," Alice said softly. "Remus and James aren't the ones that I have feelings for."

"Who is?" I asked, leaning forward slightly, most definitely excited at the prospect of some juicy gossip.

"Well, okay. There's this boy that I've been having play dates with since I was a child. He's two years older than us here at Hogwarts, but he told me he was really excited for me to get here. He's so gorgeous, girls…he's got this dark brown hair that always flops in front of his face, really adorable…and these beautiful hazel eyes…he's got quite a nice body, as well."

"Who is he? Is he a Gryffindor?" Em asked, engrossed in Alice's description.

"Yes, he's a Gryffindor…his name is Frank Longbottom," Alice said, finishing.

I smiled at Alice, but I really just wanted to change the topic by that point, because I could not get my face to stop blushing for the life of me. All that talk we had before about Remus had my face turning as red as my hair, and thankfully, Sophie noticed.

"So which classes are you guys looking forward to?" she asked quickly.

_Thank you_, I mouthed to her as Em and Alice started chatting happily.

_You're welcome_, she mouthed back with a smile. Sophie was most definitely going to be a good friend, I decided then, and, I am happy to say, she has yet to prove that statement wrong.

* * *

I am sure many people will tell you that the first day in Hogwarts is almost always a miserable one. There are simply no maps provided as to where you are supposed to go, simply classroom numbers and vague directions. The problem with this system is that sometimes, these rooms just don't feel well, or would rather visit other rooms, and they simply aren't there anymore. I was late to about half of my classes, because there are quite a few temperamental doors in Hogwarts as well, doors which need specific types of prodding to open- a compliment, tickling, be it as it may.

I was sprinting down the hall to where I supposed Transfiguration must be when I ran into something very solid. I crashed to the floor along with my schoolbag, and along with my already terrible luck of the day, a seam split open, and the contents of my bag were spilling everywhere.

My face turned bright red as I noticed some emergency "time of the month" items had spilled out as well, and I simply prayed that whoever it was I had knocked into would A) neither help me nor care or B) just not notice those specific items.

I looked up to see who I had knocked into, and I was pretty sure by this point that if the ground opened up, swallowed me whole and never let me see the light of day again, I would be pretty bloody grateful. It was Remus Lupin, and let's just say he had most definitely noticed the tampons that were scattered on the floor, one was right next to his shoe.

I made a frantic grab for my things and muttered "sorry" before sprinting in an entirely new direction. When I finally arrived at Transfiguration, I was about five minutes late, and everyone else was already seated. That's when I realized that perhaps it would have been better if Remus were in a different house, because there was only one seat left, and it was right next to him.

Normally I would have been ecstatic about this new development, but because of recent events, I rather felt like I was walking towards my own doom. Sophie was sitting with Alice, Emmeline was trying to get cozy with Sirius, and James was left to sit with Peter. I found out later that the reason James had not sat with Remus was that Remus generally scolded James when James was in a mischievous, prank worthy sort of mood, and James didn't like having his "inner child" discouraged from doing its thing. So James sat with Peter, who would never put a word in edgewise, much less scold his mentor, and Remus was left to sit with…me. Oh joy.

I don't think I was able to look at Remus when I sat down, but an entirely new level of horror was instilled when McGonagall said curtly, "Good morning. Please turn and smile, say hello, and shake hands with the person sitting opposite you. They will be your partner for the next year; there will be no changes in seating, excepting severe mistakes on my part in allowing two people who can not control themselves to sit together."

Her eyes rested on James and then on Sirius at this point. The two had already been the talk of the together in the Faculty Lounge at lunch. Flitwick and Sprout had already enthusiastically warned about the two pranksters, and that sitting them together in a class could lead to horrible things, even though both Flitwick and Sprout admired the pair's enthusiasm and would almost always sit them together in years to come. Regardless, McGonagall was fairly satisfied that in the manner they were sitting today, there would probably be less trouble than if they were sitting together.

While the rest of the class turned and shook hands, I did my best to concentrate on the chalkboard. I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Lily?"

Remus was obviously trying to get my attention, so I gave up the charade of pretending the chalkboard was extremely fascinating and turned towards him. "Yes?"

"Well, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for bumping into you back there, and I'm really sorry your bag split and embarrassed you."

His face was getting a little bit red, and I could tell he had stopped the apologies at my bag splitting because he couldn't wrap his mind around trying to say "tampon", but it was a very sincere apology nonetheless.

I smiled at him and extended my hand. "Lily Evans, even though you already know…and you are?"

"Remus Lupin," he said smiling. "Even though _you_ already know… So what has your favorite class been so far?"

I could not help the feeling of amazement that was coursing through me as our conversation continued. I was having a perfectly normal conversation with my crush, without stuttering or forgetting the topic at all. This was so great!

"Okay, everyone, now that we have the 'getting to know you' segment of the class down, take out your textbooks and turn to page 125. You will also need your quills and parchment, as we will be going through a bit of lecture portion."

There was a collective groan that rippled through the class as textbooks and materials were taken out of book bags, and I realized that perhaps McGonagall's class would be tolerable. I was guaranteed, via this class and permitting that neither Remus nor I misbehaved, at least an hour and a half of time spent either chatting with Remus or simply dreaming about him, and this thought made my young self very happy.


	3. One Hell of an Essay

_Reflections_

Mei Queen

Author's Note- I hope you all like it, I wanted to show how Lily and Sophie would have gotten closer to Sirius and James. Review, please, tell me what you all think of this story so far!

* * *

Chapter 3- One Hell of an Essay

So now that my story has progressed slightly, I hope that the initial doubt of an eleven-year-old being able to fall in love has been dispelled. Just a few weeks into the school year, I knew it was the real thing. In Transfiguration that one fateful Thursday, he…asked me…if I had an extra quill! I have held that particular quill close to my heart ever since. Even now, two weeks later, I sat happily in the common room twirling it between my fingers and smiling.

"Lily! Are you even listening to me!"

I was jogged out of my daydreams of Remus and me living in a castle together by a very irritated Sophie. Her blonde hair was up in a very casual bun, and her bright blue eyes were looking at me intently.

"Of course," I quickly lied.

"Fine, then. What was I talking about?"

"Um…class?" I guessed.

"Um…no! I was talking about how annoying Black has become. I think I'll have to fill out that restraining order any day now."

My green eyes swirled in confusion as I turned to her. "Can you actually have a restraining order on someone that goes to the same boarding school as you?"

Sophie rolled her eyes in exasperation. "I was just kidding, Lily. Just joking."

"Oh right," I said quickly. "I knew."

Sophie rolled her eyes again and decided to change the subject. "So how are you doing on that Potions essay?"

With this, my heart sank. "I think how I'm not doing on it is the better question, Sophie. I hate that class…I just don't understand it. I read the readings, and take the notes, but it just isn't clicking. I couldn't tell one root from another to save my life, much less brew them into something edible!"

Sophie nodded hopelessly. "I know exactly how you feel. My family may be from the Dark Side, but I'm bollocks at potions. But I also am rich. There's always somebody else to cook, clean, brew potions if necessary, although there's a hefty bonus to the staff when they do our potion-brewing, claimed it wasn't part of their job. Imagine! Our main housekeeper! She flat out refused to brew a Polyjuice! Said she didn't need it, it was for us, and she deserved extra money! Well for goodness sakes! The woman was a train wreck! We're magical; she should have stolen a hair from somebody pretty! We could have been doing her a favor."

My eyes bulged. Sometimes I forgot how truly tactless Sophie was. "Um…so let me get this straight. You asked her to brew you a potion when her main job is keeping the house clean, and she said it wasn't part of her job."

"I know!" Sophie exclaimed, mistaking my reaction for empathy. "Can you believe the insubordinate attitude?"

I rolled my eyes. "You probably told her she should have gone prettier with the Polyjuice too, right?"

She looked at me defensively, and replied, "What?"

* * *

I shook my head in disbelief as my eyes trailed across the common room. Over in the corner, James and Remus were playing chess, Peter was lying on the ground trying to start his Potions essay, and Sirius was playing Exploding Snap with some other first year girls.

"What a flirt. Can you believe him?" Sophie asked haughtily.

"I'm only going to ask you this once, because your constant prattle about what a jerk he is gives me a migraine. Do you like him?" I asked with irritation.

"Of course not, you twit. What could I possibly see in him, Lil?" Sophie asked quickly.

"Hell if I know. Anyway, you got your silent wish, he's leaving that horde of girls…and he's coming over here."

"He's what!" Sophie whispered sharply, turning to look herself.

Indeed, Sirius was making his way across the room, and by the looks of it, James and Remus were done with chess, so James made his way over as well. This was much to my disappointment. I was really hoping for Remus to come, but Remus had stopped to help Peter with his essay. Such a nice guy…

"I heard some high-pitched whining about a certain Potions essay," James said with a laugh, his ebony hair flopping into his face.

Sophie looked at me and rolled her eyes; I giggled in response.

"Can we be of any assistance with that?" Sirius said with his usual debonair voice. "We're already done."

"I think we're good, thanks," I replied softly, meanwhile glancing in Remus' direction. "Hey, is Remus sick? He looks kind of pale."

James looked over in Remus' direction curiously. "Yeah, we asked him, too. He said he's not feeling that great, and he's just staying in the common room to help Peter finish his Potions essay, then he's going straight to the Hospital Wing."

"Oh," I said quietly. "Poor guy."

"Yeah," Sirius said, nodding, walking over to Sophie's chair. Looking over her shoulder at the scroll that was sprawled in her lap, he read out loud, "Sophie Lestrange, Potions, September 26th, 1972…Hmm…good start. I can see why you don't need any help."

Sophie looked back him, claws bared, so to speak. "Look, Black, I've only been writing it for a few minutes, and I was doing just fine before you came along. So why don't you and your sidekick just hit the road?"

James looked at me and muttered, "So that explains why she's been here for around an hour with the scroll and the quill, sitting in that chair?"

I snorted. It was true. Sophie had absolutely no idea what she was doing on this essay, and it was pretty amusing to watch Sirius and Sophie, because Sophie would never admit she needed help, and Sirius excelled in Potions. (I would find out later that part of the reason he did so well was that when he was over at the Potter's house on Sundays, he often asked James' mother for cooking lessons, making him a great cook, and consequently a wonderful potion brewer.)

Just as the awkwardness hit a peak, Emmeline and Alice walked down the stairs.

"Hi Sirius," Em said sweetly.

"Hi doll, how are you doing?" he said in his usual suave voice.

Sophie looked at me and snorted, rolling her eyes in the same moment. "So what do you say, Lily? Library?"

"Let's go," I said, smiling, and getting up to go.

"Mind if I tag along?" a voice asked softly as we were almost out of the common room. I turned to see James quickly striding across the room.

James turned a bit red as we quirked eyebrows at his unusual behavior. "I just don't want to be caught in Sirius' ménage-a-trois, you know?"

We giggled. "Yeah, I guess we could use your help," Sophie said, after weighing the options.

"Okay, no problem," James said, quickly grabbing his Potions book from the chess table. "Let's go."

* * *

"So why in the name of Merlin do we need an eye of newt? Isn't that kind of stereotypical?" I asked cynically.

James chuckled at my sarcasm and said, "It's not about why you need it, Lily, just that you do."

I looked at him warily and replied, "We don't actually have to…you know…get the eye out, do we?"

Sophie shrieked, "Oh, dear Merlin! I did not sign up for popping eyes! That has 'ruin my manicure' written all over it! Oh, I refuse! Eew!"

James began to laugh hysterically. "No you two don't have to 'pop' eyes…they're already in the pantries in the dungeon."

"Oh great," Sophie said weakly. "I still feel a little ill about the whole thing."

I smiled at her and nodded fervently. "Anyway, we'll think about the newt eyes later. Back to the essay for now."

"Right," James and Sophie agreed.

* * *

A couple hours later, we were still sitting at the same table. James had a wonderful way of explaining things; he really had a gift at teaching. At least, he had a gift for teaching…me. My essay was complete, because the way he explained made so much sense to me. I was an auditory learner, so this was really easy for me. Unfortunately, Sophie was mainly a visual learner, and she had only accomplished a weak thesis statement in the past two hours.

"You kids are still here?" we heard a voice call out to us.

Turning towards the door, we saw Sirius striding over.

"What are you doing here?" James asked curiously. "I didn't think you even knew we had a library."

"Just walked Remus down to the Hospital Wing. I walked by here and saw lots of light, heard no noise, and smelled musty books. I figured this was the torture chamber, but apparently it fronts itself as a library," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Anyway, Sophie doesn't quite get it yet," I said softly from my seat next to Sophie.

"Lil, can I get you to sit next to James?" Sirius asked quickly. "I'll explain it to her, and I won't even break a sweat," he said challengingly to James.

James chuckled. "Go right ahead," he replied, and I switched seats.

Sirius turned to the blonde, who was resting her head in her hand in exhaustion and frustration.

"All right then, Soph. Are you a visual or an auditory learner? Probably a visual, since James doesn't really do helpful pictures or anything like that."

At first, she was disgruntled at his new nickname for her, but her face relaxed as she realized that Sirius might actually be able to teach her something. Right about now, she would accept just about any help, because otherwise she would probably fail this essay, which was a big part of the grade in the class.

"Visual," she said softly.

"Okay, no problem. Let's get started, then," Sirius said confidently.

After another hour, and quite a few magical pictures to help Sophie understand, she was smiling again. "I really understand what I'm doing now, Sirius! Thank you!"

Sophie reached out to hug him, and looked like she was having second thoughts in mid-air. It didn't matter by then anyway, because Sirius took her up on the offer and gave her a squashing bear hug. When he finally let go, little Sophie looked a little out of breath and very shaken up. "Okay, Sirius, James, well…Lily and I should get going. It's pretty late, and we have class tomorrow."

I nodded, thanked James for all of his help, and gathered my scrolls and quills. "We'll see you guys later."

Together, Sophie and I got up to go back to common room.

"Need company?" James asked softly. "We're not staying here."

I looked at Sophie and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"This room is evil," Sirius said without hesitation. "I just know that torture was done here when the school was first built."

"You loon," Sophie said with irritation. "It's always just been a library; at least I think it has."

I looked at the banter with amusement. "I'll settle this. I'll just ask Madam Pince."

Madam Pince looked at me strangely when she heard my question, but she confirmed Sophie's answer. "Yes, it's always been a library."

"See?" Sirius asked James after hearing Madam Pince's answer. "Always torturous."

"Now the real question remains," I began as we all walked together out of the library, "is it the academic research that's torturous, or do you really believe there's a hidden dungeon with a dark past hidden somewhere in the restricted section?"

"How about both?" Sirius asked with a grin. We chuckled together as we continued the rest of the way up to the dorm, because James and Sirius were actually surprisingly funny, and Sophie and I were having a truly wonderful time. (The only thing that would have made it better is if Remus weren't sick.)

Imagine our surprise a week later, when Sophie and I received back our graded essays. Both had "E" written in red pen on the top of the scroll, and it was about then that Sophie and I truly realized what a valuable resource the Marauders would come to be for us. It was the beginning of a very interesting friendship with the four guys, but mainly with Sirius and James, the charmers themselves.


	4. Quidditch and the Hospital Wing

--

_Reflections_

Mei Queen

--

Chapter 4: Quidditch and the Hospital Wing

I loosened the tie around my neck as I skipped towards the Great Hall. _I love Fridays, _I thought to myself happily. It was really a beautiful day at Hogwarts…the sun was shining through the clouds, little Quidditch players flying around on their brooms could be seen just above the pitch, Sophie, Em, Alice and I were all planning on staying up late and doing each other's hair tonight, and…Potter was right in my face.

As time wore on at Hogwarts, I would eventually come to find that James Potter had three favorite places- the Quidditch pitch, pulling pranks on innocent people with Sirius, and…right in my face, annoying me until the apocalypse broke loose.

"Agh!" I said, startled by his sudden appearance.

He smiled. "So where are you headed to on this fine day, Lily?"

I smiled back. "I don't really know. I was probably just going to go down to the Great Hall to see if Sophie was there."

James nodded. "I don't think she is. I just came from that way, actually. I was wondering, though, are you doing anything in particular right now?"

"No…" I answered cautiously. _What does he want, anyway?_

"Because," he continued, "the guys and I are all going down to the pitch, and I was wondering if you wanted to tag along."

"But first years aren't allowed brooms," I felt myself saying stiffly.

"Madam Hooch made a bit of an exception," he said, eyes glinting mischievously.

As I would get to know James better over time, I would learn to spot the major warning sign of a prank- James' eyes glinting. It was a dead giveaway, every time.

But, unfortunately, I didn't know that then.

"Sure, why not. I'll just sit in the stands and watch you fly about, then, shall I?" I asked softly.

"Lily, don't be stupid. We're going to teach you how to fly," James said confidently, already striding towards the pitch.

My eyes opened wide, and I had to shut my mouth to control my gag reflex. _I HATE HEIGHTS. I HATE THEM. I'M GOING TO DIE IF I GET ON THAT BROOM, _the hysterical voice in my head was shouting.

"Oh, James," I said, trying to be as calm as possible, "don't be silly…I don't need to fly. I'll be perfectly happy right here on the ground."

"I refuse to let any of my friends go their lives fearing a broomstick, Lily. It's just ridiculous," James retorted, opening the door to the pitch so I could step through.

"James, really, it's not necessary…Maybe I should go…"

My thought was interrupted when I noticed a certain gorgeous sandy-haired blonde flying through the air. I remembered him saying "the guys" would be there, but for some reason, the fact that Remus would also be present happened to escape me at the time.

"Lily, honestly, go if you want, but I think it would really be valuable to learn-"

"GO! Who said anything about going!" I said, in what I hoped was a normally-pitched voice (and keeping one eye on Remus the whole time of course), "I would really love to learn, James. I mean, what can it hurt?"

"Besides your tender limbs?" Sirius asked, landing from a very graceful dive and overhearing our conversation.

"Yes," I replied shakily, "Besides those."

--

"Okay, Lily…you grip the broom like _this,_" James said, showing me with his hands as he said it. For some odd reason, James had decided to make himself the tutor of this lesson while Remus, Peter and Sirius played a free-for-all game of Quidditch. And if anyone is wondering how "free-for-all" Quidditch is scored, it's actually really very irrelevant, because the guys had lost focus upon the Snitch being released, and had now resorted to throwing the Quaffle at each other to see who could leave the biggest bruise mark.

_Boys…_they're positively barbaric. It's like their stuck in a different century…hell a different era, than the rest of us. In their minds, they're all the grunting breadwinners that fend off cruel dinosaurs, all in nothing but loincloths.

My mind continued to wander as my eyes followed Remus' path through the air. I found myself unwittingly mounting the broom like James was trying to show me. _Then I accidentally kicked off the ground. _**And it worked.**

"_Merlin!"_ I screamed as I continually rose in the air. I wasn't listening to James when he told me how to control the broom in flight, but now I was desperately trying to search for any bit of wisdom he had said in the past few minutes (which was exceedingly difficult as I hadn't been listening the entire time).

"Lily!" he called out worriedly from the ground. Wasting no time, he swiftly ran to the shed and grabbed a dusty Cleansweep. Mounting and kicking all in one quick motion, he had caught up to me before I actually reached the height Sirius, Remus, and Peter were at. (They had stopped bashing each other with the Quaffle long enough to see the commotion and my chalk-white face as I held on to the broom for dear life)

"Okay, Lily, don't look down." he said calmly, turning his broom in mid-air so he was facing me. I was starting to uncontrollably shake by now, and it was taking all of my strength to keep my eyes focused on James.

My knuckles had turned a bright white from clutching the broomstick as hard as I could, which James noted with an amused snort before regaining seriousness. "Okay, Lily," he said softly, avoiding my dirty look in his direction. "I'm going to pull up next to you, okay?"

I nodded quickly, my body still shaking, and my hands still feeling like they were glued to the broomstick.

True to his word, James pulled up exactly alongside me.

"Alright. That wasn't bad, was it?" he asked softly.

I shook my head, obviously scared out of my wits.

"Now what we're going to do is very simple. I could have you get on my broom, but I don't think you'd fancy changing brooms in midair, am I right?"

I shook my head, my eyes bulging out of their sockets at the very suggestion.

"Okay then. Well, what I need you to do is back up on the broom…yes, just like that."

He smiled at me as I scooted back on the broom a bit, still holding frantically onto the handle.

"Now I'm going to get on in front of you and steer us back to the ground. But when I do, you'll need to hold on to me because there isn't enough room on the handle for your hands and mine. Is that okay with you?" James asked softly, meeting my eyes.

I, naturally, agreed. What else was I going to do? It wasn't like I had any remote idea how I got up here, let alone a clue as to how to steer back down…so this seemed the safest route.

James quickly transferred to my broom, and I locked my arms around his waist.

We were back on the ground before I knew it…I had closed my eyes the whole ride down. I didn't want to see how high up I was.

Stepping unsteadily back onto the grass of the pitch, I groaned.

"Are you going to be okay, Lily?" James asked concernedly, bending over me to see what was wrong.

"I feel like I'm going to be ill," I said softly, still groaning. "I hate heights…but at least now I know if I ever get stuck on a broomstick in midair, I'll just call James Potter and he'll steer me back to safety."

James smiled at my sarcasm. By then, the other boys had landed and voiced their concerns.

"She's going to be just fine, guys…her cynicism is still intact."

--

The next few days passed before I knew it. I woke up the day after the Quidditch Pitch around noon, completely disoriented. When my eyes were actually able to open all the way, I realized I was in the Hospital Wing with a bucket next to my bed.

"Eew…"I said softly upon realizing why I was there. No doubt I had actually gotten sick, and James and the boys brought me here.

"That was one nasty potion you must have drank for your class, child," Madam Pomfrey said quietly, treading over to my bed. The rest of the wing was deserted, so now that I was awake, I was obviously giving her something to do.

"Potion?" I asked with confusion. Then I realized that must have been the boys' alibi. I knew Madam Hooch had nothing to do with the brooms! Hah! I was going to tell Potter I was wise to him…as soon as I could make it more than five minutes without being sick. "Oh, right. It was nasty, Madam Pomfrey."

A curt rapping on the door to the Hospital Wing echoed a bit before Madam Pomfrey got up to see who it was.

Not bothering to tell the woman why she was there, I heard a click-clack, click-clack, click-clack, and looked up to see Sophie in her three-inch heels by my side.

"Miss! It's not visiting hours! I'm afraid you'll have to leave!" Madam Pomfrey walked over in protest.

"What does it matter? She's the only one here…besides, my father alone doubled your salary just this year!" Sophie said haughtily.

"A- Oh. Miss Lestrange. Yes. Only a few minutes, then. Lily's not feeling well in the slightest," Madam Pomfrey said with a sniff, before closing the door to her office and leaving us alone.

"_Lily's not feeling well…_Gee, you know I **couldn't tell!** Just judging by the fact that she's, oh I don't know, in the **Hospital** Wing…wow. Lily…not feeling well? Hmm…there's the genius statement of the century," Sophie whispered sarcastically, smiling at me.

"So how are you doing? Is Madam "I'm a Nazi in Disguise" driving you mad yet?" Sophie whispered, sitting on my bed.

I sat up against the pillows. "Eh. She's not that bad. I only just woke up, actually…so I probably said two words, if that, to her before you burst in."

Sophie examined her nails. "What can I say? I have impeccable timing."

I laughed softly. "Yes, yes, you do. What am I missing in classes? What's today?"

"It's Saturday, you lucky thing, you. So actually, you haven't missed anything yet." Sophie responded with a smile.

"I can't believe I'm spending my Saturday vomiting in the Hospital Wing because of Potter and his idiotic gang. Next time they ask if I want to fly, if I want to sneak out to Hogsmeade, hell, if I want to hang around them voluntarily…I'll know to just say no. After all, if I say yes to them, I'll just end up in the Hospital Wing for eternity under an extremely lame excuse!" I said vehemently, balling up my blanket in my hands.

Sophie smiled at me. "For as retarded of boys as they are, it was good of them to bring you here. I'm sure it was Sirius' idea, he's actually pretty sweet."

My eyebrow lifted practically to my hairline. "Excuse me? Is this the same Sirius you wanted a restraining order on just last month?"

She laughed softly in return. "Maybe I misread him. Besides, if it weren't for him helping me on that essay, I'd be failing Potions right now. But what do I have? An "A", yes, that's right. An "A"!"

"Okay, that's entirely enough, now. Lily needs her bed rest." Madam Pomfrey said curtly as she swooped out of her office and into our conversation.

Sophie grumbled as she arose and curtly "clacked" towards the exit. I lay back into the pillows and fell asleep before I knew what was going on.

--

"Lily! Psst…Lily, wake up!" I heard a soft whisper.

I was dreaming about owning all the beautiful dresses in the world, so I was a little peeved to be awoken, as it were. But awake I finally was, no thanks to the band of idiots around my bed.

Upon opening my eyes, I realized three things- 1) I was still in the Hospital Wing, 2) it was the dead of night, and 3) Sophie had joined the Marauders.

Well, actually, I was entirely sure about the last one. But it certainly seemed that she had joined forces with the retards for a visit to me at midnight.

"Why are you all here?" I croaked, sitting up and desperately trying to smooth down my hair.

"We wanted to break you out!" Sirius said jollily, reaching over to give me a hug I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to take part in.

"You want to break me out of the Hospital Wing." I said with a tone that obviously showed I thought them completely mad.

"Well, when you say it like that…"Peter said defensively.

"Yeah, Lily. You can't say it that way." Remus said with a smirk. "It makes us look a little less heroic."

My face burned with embarrassment as I realized Remus was there. So he was seeing my hair like this. Come to think of it, he had probably helped bring me in…which means he had seen me vomiting all over creation. Well…maybe there was room in the local convent because there was no way any sane guy would ever date me now.

"Oh, come on, Lily. It'll be fun," James whispered with a devious smile.

"She's going to send a strongly worded letter to the Headmaster, letting him now that I'm ungrateful and didn't stay until she was ready to let me go. You guys are probably going to get me into trouble!" I whispered in protest.

"Just leave a note! Poppy will totally understand! She understood when I decided to take my own leave after I won the "free-for-all" Quidditch contest…well, technically, Remus won because he threw the Quaffle. But I simultaneously won because the largest bruise was on me. My whole face, in fact," Sirius said proudly.

"I'm sure Madam Pomfrey actually wanted you gone, Sirius, so she didn't give a fuss." Sophie said quickly, voicing exactly what I was thinking.

"What are you doing here with these loons, anyway?" I asked her.

"It was her idea," James joined in. "She asked us when we were playing innocent Exploding Snap in the Common Room whether we were up for a little rescuing. And since "White Knight" is practically my middle name, I figured why not."

"Even if you don't want to stay with us the whole night, Lil, we could still go nick some food from the kitchens, have a feast, then return you safe and sound. Then Poppy's happy, you've had some decent food, and we get to hang out with you! Works out well all around, really," Sophie said quickly.

I smiled at the suggestion. "You guys know how to get into the kitchens? But won't the house-elves be asleep right now?"

James looked at me as if I were mad. "You think house-elves sleep?"

And so we did it. We miraculously made it down to the kitchens and loud and raucously feasted on butterbeer and various treats until our stomachs felt like they would burst and they finally returned me to the Hospital Wing. Amazingly enough, Madam Pomfrey wasn't any the wiser the next morning, and I didn't get in trouble. I was sad to see them go, especially Remus…but I knew that we would have some great times to look forward to over the next year. I had finally made some amazing friends.

I have to credit the Marauders- though they've been punished for some minor stuff…they generally don't leave enough of a trail to get caught for the big stuff. I should know…after all, I was the one deducting the points.

-


	5. Time Marches On

**-**

_**Reflections**_

**Mei Queen**

**-**

**Authoress' Note- **Just so nobody gets confused, **this is a bridge chapter.** I'm tired of writing in 1st Year, so this chapter kind of skips forward to show how the rivalry of James and Lily began, and then after that insight, we're going to fast forward to the beginning of 7th Year. Hope nobody minds.

**-**

**Chapter 5- Time Marches On**

I think one thing that I, Lily Evans, have always prided myself on is the ability to retain friendships. I'm fiercely loyal and defensive of the ones I love. If someone gains my trust, they have to do something extremely severe to lose it. I'm pleased to report that Sophie Lestrange has never done anything to lose that trust, which is why we stayed friends long after First Year had come and gone. I also managed to stay on friendly terms with Remus Lupin, the long-time object of my wasted affections.

James Potter and the rest of the Marauders, however…_well, that's a different story entirely._

Sophie and I managed to stay pretty good friends with the boys through the end of First Year…in fact; we were on downright good terms with them until one fateful night in the winter of 4th Year.

Sophie had long since gone to bed, but I was still scribbling frantically on my Defence Against the Dark Arts essay, trying to estimate its length at the same time. _Only two more bloody centimetres to go…I can do this! _

I was really…**ambitious** during this time in my life, because of my determination to get Prefect the following year, so I was actually writing about five centimetres more than was required by our professor. _The extra bit can't hurt my chances._

I was nearing the end of the essay when I could have sworn I heard the portrait creak open. Looking back, I saw nobody there. Shrugging it off to the ancient castle and its peculiar sounds, I turned back to the firelight, hoping the right words to close out my essay would come to me.

Instead, looking in the fireplace, I found my thoughts drifting to someone else. To my great shock, that _someone_ I was thinking about was James Potter. Normally, when the world was correctly spinning on its axis, this daydreaming time would be spent thinking about Remus Lupin, the gorgeous sandy blonde who was a sure bet for Prefect. But apparently the world was off-kilter today, as Potter, and not Remus, was the one drifting through my brain.

James Potter and I had always been on friendly terms since we had met on the train that first day of Hogwarts…but we had never been _close._ I could never tell exactly what it was, but something always kept us from being **completely** open with one another. It felt like there was some unsurpassed chasm of tension between us that neither really knew how to politely step around. I had noticed lately that he was acting more awkward than normal around me. He rarely addressed questions to me, seemed to flee a room whenever I entered it, and was a complete prat whenever he did respond to something I had to say. I didn't know what it was then, but looking back on my memories now, I can see that James was far from secretive with his feelings…even if he displayed them in a rather confusing and muddled manner.

_Take what's about to happen, for instance-_ As I went back to my essay, I started to think I was hearing muffled footsteps passing behind the couch in the Common Room. But I couldn't see anything. So, passing it off as temporary insanity, I put the final touches to my essay and began packing up my things.

Then I heard a voice clear their throat from the Boys' Dorms.

_James Potter's voice, to be exact._

"Um, Lily, can I talk to you for a moment?"

My eyebrow quirked slightly. "Er, yes, sure. Where did you come from, anyway?"

James waved his hand to signal that that small detail was far from important. He sat down in the chair opposite mine, hand in his hair and eyes focused intently on the floor. _And then he didn't say anything._

We sat in silence for about two minutes before I began, "Er. You…wanted…to…talk to me?"

"Yes. I did," James replied, his eyes meeting mine.

_Silence. Again._

"Well, are you going to talk?" I asked curiously, rather concerned for his mental health by this point, actually.

James looked around, seeming desperate to focus on anything but this conversation, before he grudgingly replied, "I don't know."

"Oh. Well, as long as we have that cleared up," I retorted irritably, slouching in my chair and crossing my arms over my chest.

His eyes seemed to get a renewed vigour in them as he arose from his chair and commanded, "Get up, Lily, I want to do something."

_Okay, now I was positive he must be nuts._ "Okay…" I replied slowly, allowing him to help me out of the chair.

Now we were face to face. There was barely the width of a Quaffle between two hormonally charged fourteen year olds. James' playful hazel eyes met my serious and frustrated emerald ones, and I noted with amusement that he gulped nervously at the closeness.

I was amused, however, until I realized what he was trying to do.

Without any real warning, he bent slightly so that we were at eye level, and pressed his lips to mine.

So many thoughts began flying through my head at that moment that I can only attempt to record them. These are a few that I remember: _**Mmm. **What is he thinking? You don't just **kiss** someone because you feel like it! **He smells lovely. **You ask permission (at least that's what they do in all those lovely black and white movies)…or at the very least, give a little warning! **Blimey, this is kind of nice. **My mouth was open! How embarrassing is that! _

It felt like my head was having a battle between the sensible, frustrated side and the extremely content side.

_Sensible and frustrated won out._

"Geroff me, Potter!" I said irritably, putting my hands to his chest to push him back. "You don't just **kiss** someone! You didn't even give me warning… or anything! What was that for!"

James' face flushed a deep crimson. I was slightly shocked at his reaction actually; I couldn't recall suave James ever being embarrassed about anything. He said softly in reply, "I'm sorry, Lily. I was trying to tell you how I feel about you…how I've felt about you for quite awhile. But it came out…wrong."

My features softened. It was really sweet, actually, what he was trying to do. However, though the kiss was nice, I didn't really…feel for him that way.

"I appreciate your honesty, James," I said softly, my forehead crinkling as I tried to find the right words that would say what I needed them so desperately to. "But…but I have feelings for someone else. I've always seen you as a friend."

I could see the disappointment in his eyes. It was there, swimming at the surface, completely visible. If I had strained my eyes in the flickering firelight, I might've sworn that I could see his eyes getting dangerously glassy.

But I didn't want to know. So I didn't see. And I didn't know then that I had really hurt his feelings.

-

I didn't know how much James really cared when Remus Lupin asked me to be his date to the next Hogsmeade visit just a week after the kiss. I forgot all about that midnight kiss to see where a crush that I had had for over three years would lead me. I still, to this day, am not really sure why Remus asked me.

_Either way, neither of us remembered why we had agreed when we got to Hogsmeade._

"So, this is lovely, isn't it?" I said softly, rubbing my gloved hands together in the hopes of escaping the dreary winter weather.

"Mmm, yes it is," Remus replied in equally dulcet tones, looking around as if to find some sort of inspiration for a conversation.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you go out with a friend of the opposite sex you can have a completely fabulous time, but throw the word "date" into that same equation and all that you get back are stutters, bad attempts at goodnight kisses, awkwardness, and no conversation?

_Sadly, that is exactly what happened on my date with Remus Lupin._

"Um, well, where would you like to go?" I asked, hoping for a somewhat long response, something that I could bounce replies off of.

"Uh. I guess there's Three Broomsticks for butterbeer, we could go to Scrivenshaft's for quills, of course there's Zonko's Joke Shop…Shrieking Shack, Madame Puddifoot's, The Hog's Head…"

"Well, now that we know every establishment in the surrounding area," I said with a nervous laugh, my cheeks colouring slightly. _Why was this so hard?_

Remus' cheeks coloured slightly. "I'm up for whatever you are."

I sighed. Of course. _I had to pick_ Fantastic. "How about a butterbeer? It's terribly cold out."

"Lead the way," he replied, relieved that we had at least figured _this _part of the date out.

When the door closed to the Three Broomsticks, we realized just how many students had had the same idea. There was not an empty booth inside.

"Oi! Remus! Over here!" I heard from the corner of the pub.

Looking over, I saw the remainder of the "Marauders" (what James, Sirius, Peter and Remus all called themselves) sitting cosily in a booth.

James' eyes met mine. "Why aren't you with Sophie, Alice, and Emmeline?" he asked softly. He seemed terrified to know the answer.

I opened my mouth to speak, but found that the words just weren't coming. I didn't want to hurt him.

Remus, however, had no idea of the late night kiss a few weeks ago, and simply blurted, _"We're on a date_. Are you sure it's okay to sit with my mates, Lily? We could go somewhere else if you like."

I felt my throat constrict slightly as I watched James' face cloud over in a deadly expression. "Um. It's fine. I guess," I said softly, sliding into the booth.

Remus, Sirius and Peter quickly became animated in speculating each of the houses' odds for the Quidditch Cup that year, and I turned to James, whom I was sitting directly across from.

James leaned forward slightly so that only I could hear what he was saying. "_Well, **gee**, Lily_. I had no idea that you turned me down in order to stab me in the back with one of my best mates here. I mean, you could have just simply declined or called me repulsive; instead you actually had to go through the trouble of leading on poor Lupin here? _That's vile_."

His words were absolutely biting, and I won't deny it- _they hurt like hell_. I didn't deserve this. Not from him, anyway.

My eyes blazed in fury as I looked him up and down, from his mussed raven locks to his slightly crooked glasses, down to his wrinkled day clothes. "_Potter_ I don't know where you get the idea that the world revolves around you- probably from some well-meaning but slightly mislead parenting, but it doesn't. _Remus asked me_ I saw no reason to decline. You, may I remind you, never asked me out on _anything_, because you were stuttering so much! I…I don't need this from you, alright?"

I looked in my lap to see that my fists were balled, and my knuckles were beginning to turn the palest white from the tension. Glancing up at the group, I noticed that Sirius, Peter and Remus had long ago stopped talking about Quidditch probabilities, and had heard _every single word_ that I said to Potter.

"Oh, Merlin," I said softly, under my breath.

I just didn't know what to do. James was still focused on me with what can only be described as loathing, Remus looked completely confused, and Peter and Sirius were looking from James to me to Remus, trying to figure out what was going on. I couldn't answer any questions. _I just couldn't._

"Thank you for a lovely time, Remus, but…I really must be going," I mumbled before bolting for the door.

I don't know how that Hogsmeade visit went for the rest of the class, but mine was spent battling a blizzard on a long walk back to Hogwarts.

-

_And so ended the almost-friendship between me and James Potter_ Remus and I agreed that friendship was really the only way to go for us, but that didn't stop James from being insanely jealous. I heard from Remus that James wouldn't speak to him for almost two weeks. Well, Remus had a better time of it than I did. James seemed to think that I loathed his existence, a fact that is actually far from the truth. But it was what it was- a huge misunderstanding that both of us were much too stubborn to correct. And so, James' jealousy kept most boys from entering a Quidditch Pitch radius of me, and he would only speak to me himself to go through his biweekly ordeal of asking me out. He had made it a point to definitely **ask** after I had shown him that day in Hogsmeade that he never had. It had almost become a compulsive obsession. _It was extremely annoying_ He only did it for the attention, as far as I was concerned.

Remus and I worked together for the next two years as the Gryffindor prefects. It was really fun working with him, but I was thrilled to have gotten over my crush on him as he wasn't extremely reliable. He was constantly sick, meaning that I had to pick up the slack, a fact for which he constantly apologized. But everyone was up for a shock when we met at the Hogwarts Express, ready to board for our 7th Year at Hogwarts.

_I honestly can not tell you the logic behind the seventh year appointments_

I heard footsteps behind me on the platform as I attempted to manoeuvre my cart through the sea of students, **Head Girl** badge pinned in obvious view to my chest. I turned quickly to see who was trying to ambush me. It was Remus Lupin, and his friends appeared nowhere to be seen.

Throwing my arms around his neck, I asked quickly, "How was your holiday?"

Remus patted my back and smiled at me. "It was pretty decent," he replied, finally letting go of our hug. "How was yours?"

I smiled. "Not too bad, and this badge didn't hurt things," I said jokingly, flashing it his way.

His jaw dropped. "Oh. Wow. Well, we're in for an interesting year, then."

My eyes clouded and I could feel my throat constricting rapidly. "You…you don't mean what I think you mean, do you?"

I felt like I was honestly going to faint, right there on the platform.

Remus returned my glance apologetically.

"But…don't you have to be a Prefect to be Head Boy?" I asked with irritation.

"Apparently not," a voice drawled lazily from behind me. It was James Potter himself, with, sure enough, **Head Boy** badge fastened primly to his chest.

"This **can't** be happening to me. Not after I've worked so hard. _Only to end up with you!_ I really wouldn't have complained if I had gotten any Slytherin. Hell, Snape would probably have been a better choice."

"I resent that, Evans," James said irritably, looking down at me.

I began to breathe deeply, in and out. It was the only way to calm myself down when I felt so much on the verge of a breakdown. _Where was Sophie?_She was the only person who could calm me down when I got like this.

But, fashionably late as she always is, she wasn't there yet. Walking away from the pair and beginning to resolutely heave my cart onto the train, I panted slightly. _Bugger, this thing was heavy_ Where was Remus? He always helped me with this stupid thing.

-

But Remus Lupin was nowhere to be seen. As cruel fate would have it, the only face I knew in the sea of unfamiliar was that of James Potter, Head Boy Extraordinaire. "Do you need help?" he asked curiously, walking up to me.

Normally I would have rejected the offer with my most scathing tone. But I really couldn't lift the trunk alone, and Potter was normally never nice enough to notice when I needed help. "Yeah, sure, that would be great," I said softly, meeting his hazel eyes. Those eyes hadn't changed at all, they still looked exactly the same as I remembered from that night in 4th Year…seemingly okay, but distressed if you looked any closer.

The trunk was on the train quickly, with little or no help from me.

"Thank you," I said softly, nodding my head in what I hoped was a gracious gesture.

"Do you need any help getting it to your compartment?" he asked sweetly in reply.

Okay. Who out there is playing a sadistic trick on me with some Polyjuice? There is no bloody way that Potter would not only help lift my trunk onto the train, but help me to the compartment and lift it onto the luggage rack. _No bloody way._

My eyes widened slightly at his gracious offer. "Um. Sure, I s'pose."

"Where are you sitting at? Is Sophie on here yet?"

"Hah. Sophie, be _on time_ for anything? _Never._ It's so much more of a grand tradition for her to stride in at 11:01 and debate with the conductor about whether she should be allowed on the train. She always wins, every time…mainly because she threatens to have her father dock their pay."

James snorted in reply, carefully manoeuvring my trunk through a pack of lost-looking 1st Years who were clogging up the hallway. "Yeah, I remember those days," he said, softly chuckling.

"You used to do that, too?" I said with a smile, my eyes lighting up with laughter. I mean, I always knew that the Potters were a powerful wizarding family. Books and endless news articles had been written about them. But, I guess it never occurred to me that there was a time in James' childhood when he used his name to get himself places. He always seemed like the "_make your own way, no matter how difficult the path may be_" type to me.

"It was a long time ago, before we got into Hogwarts," James said with a smile, fondly remembering those days. "I used to idolize my dad, and anytime I could, I'd mention his name. Naturally, that would cause people to go into a round of stuttering and '_those_ Potters?'"

"Oh wow," I said quietly. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like, having a name that powerful.

"Yeah, I prefer how my life is now though. Causing mischief amuses me, because the classes are never really _that_ difficult."

I snorted. "What do your parents think of that?" I asked, arbitrarily picking a compartment.

"They're used to the nearly weekly owls informing them of various pranks I've committed. My mum worries for me, my dad gets a chuckle out of some of the daring things that I do. Both of them really can't disown me though, I'm an only child, so they have to love me no matter what," he finished with a grin, heaving my trunk onto the luggage rack.

I couldn't believe it. I had just had a _completely_ civil conversation with James Potter.

"Well, thanks," I said with a smile, motioning to the trunk.

"You're welcome," he replied. "I'll see you up front for the Prefects' meeting later, then?"

I smiled in return. "See you then."


	6. The Last First Day

--

**Reflections **

_**Mei Queen **_

--

**Authoress' Note- **This chapter is for Nicola, one of my most loyal fans ever, and yes, that is her name in the Prefect meeting D. If _you_ want a cameo, you can read and review all my stories like she did, because she is totally awesome!

--

**Chapter 6:** The Last First Day

Sophie Lestrange brushed a stray bit of fringe out of her face, focused intently on the task at hand. _It has to be perfect, _she thought to herself intently.

This was her last first day of school, and she wanted to make a big impression. So there she stood, cemented in the ground in front of her closet, trying to decide what would prove to be the most difficult question of her 7th year…_what should she wear?_

Sophie sighed to herself resignedly. _I don't know when I became so shallow. I **do** think about other things, but I've always thought that impressions are extremely vital and important, and I want to make a good one in my last year. Well, I might as well go with my old standby, and then there is no room for error. I can't wait to see everyone again…summer feels like it's lasted forever!_

Finally settling on some dark jeans and a white shirt, she turned to head for the shower. _This will be an interesting year._

--

Sophie could not have been more right. She didn't know yet about the Head appointments, but she definitely had something to say when she arrived late at the Express (as per usual), and finally got to talk with me.

"No way. That's just not possible. What is Dumbledore _on_?" she had exclaimed sympathetically.

"I don't know. That's exactly what I'm wondering."

"It's a mighty good question, anyway. Don't you have to be somewhere?"

"Oh, yeah, the prefect's compartment. It's okay, usually everyone's a few minutes late at least."

"But this year you're setting the example, Miss Head Girl," Sophie joked with a grin. She could not be more proud of me. She told me that I deserved this spot because I had worked for it tirelessly for seven years. The appointment was the culmination of all of my hard work, she had said. Sophie Lestrange was the best friend anyone could ask for.

"It _is_ kinda awesome," I admitted with a grin.

"Yes, it is! Even _if_ you have to work with Potter. So sorry about that, by the way."

"If it weren't for the unfortunate bits of life we would never appreciate the good, Soph," I said with a sigh, leaning back on the cushioned bench and resting my arms across my chest. Truth be told, I really wasn't that concerned about it. James was a pain, granted, but the last conversation we had had was extremely civil. He had even helped me with my trunk! If that wasn't a total 180 from mindlessly torturing Severus Snape just a few years ago, I didn't know what was! _Maybe he actually took my advice about deflating his ego_, I found myself thinking.

Though part of me really didn't believe that he cared enough about me to take it upon himself to change just for me, I couldn't find another reasonable explanation for his sudden civility towards me. He was acting much different than he had last year…far more kind and considerate. _More mature._

Shrugging off the deep analysis of Potter's personality quirks, I tied my scarlet locks up into a ponytail before getting up for my first official duty as Head Girl- the very first prefects' meeting of the year.

--

"So that's basically it, unless anyone has any questions," James summed up simply, running a hand through his hair as he said it, an action that caused me to wince involuntarily. I _must_ get over my pet peeve with Potter's hair one of these days. Really. I'll drive _myself_ bonkers.

Snapping out of my depressed reverie, I threw the prefects my brightest smile, saying, "It's been wonderful meeting you all, and we look forward to the first meeting to get to know you all better. That meeting will be two weeks into the term. Look for the announcement in your respective Common Rooms. And were there any questions for James and I?"

A fifth year Ravenclaw prefect, Nicola McKenna, raised her hand. After my motion to continue, she asked quietly, "What should we do if someone in our house is…worried about…about You-Know-Who and the threat he poses to their families? Is there anything we can say as prefects and leaders to help comfort them?"

James Potter's eyes flashed dangerously at the mention of Voldemort, and his serious expression indicated that he found Nicola's question a good one.

Turning to the petite brunette, I posed the best answer that I possibly could to this grim subject. "I believe that we are, as leaders, responsible for making our students feel safe during their time at Hogwarts. Indicate that you believe their families will be fine-"

"You want us to _lie?_" Caledon Nott, seventh year Slytherin prefect, interjected.

"Don't interrupt, Nott, it's rude," James said with that quiet voice that indicated that he meant business. "Lily means that we need to create a safe environment for the concerned students. They can't spend the whole year with this miserable rain cloud of worry hanging over their heads, school will be terrible for them that way. We need to do whatever it takes to provide them a haven, and if that requires 'creating the truth', then that's what it requires."

Stunned slightly that he was standing up for me, and more than a little shocked at his maturity, I continued. "Yes, thank you, James. As I was saying, convince them that everyone will be fine, and try to start an activity to keep their minds off of it. You-Know-Who is a threat and everyone knows that, but maybe we can make life here more tolerable by setting good examples."

Nicola nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer, and leaned back against the cushions.

Fairly confident that that would be the most difficult question of the day, I asked again, "Okay. Any more questions for me and James?"

There was a chorus of shaken heads, and James and I dismissed the prefects to get back to their respective compartments.

"You were pretty good back there, Evans," he said with a grin, showing off his straight white teeth.

"Thanks. Back at you, Potter," I said, returning the smile. I cocked my head to the side a bit, studying him. He _had_ changed over summer. I could see it in the mature way he acted during the meeting. He had things under control all by himself, but he always made sure to include me, regardless. The James Potter I saw today was infinitely different than a year ago; in fact, he had changed everything that I had disliked about him.

_Except for his annoying habit of running his hands through his hair_, I mused. But I suppose I can't have everything.

--

As my shoulder brushed up against Sophie's, I grinned over at my best friend. This was the last time we were going to ride in the carriages up to the school. It was so exciting to think about, but frightening at the same time. What would I be doing at this time next year? Would Sophie and I get a flat together? Would I ever find someone to love, to grow old with? Would I be a mother someday? I didn't know any of the answers, but I remember wondering so vividly.

"Wotcher, Lil. What are you thinking about?" Remus piped up from the other side of the carriage. Sophie and I were sharing a carriage with the "Marauders", at their urging. Sophie and I didn't really have anyone better to go with, so we grudgingly agreed, against our better judgment. It was a bit cramped with two girls and four full-grown boys, but we were making do.

"Nothing much, Remmy. I'm just tired," I said with a faint blush. I no longer liked Remus, but something about his eyes just made me insides melt and sent my concentration right out the window, anyway.

"Yeah. Our Head Girl kicked some serious arse in the prefect meeting today," James said almost affectionately from the other side of the compartment.

"I know. I was there, remember?" Remus asked, annoyed with his friend's attention span.

"Oh, right. I forgot that we have 7th Year prefects," Potter answered, perplexed.

I snorted and smiled over at Sophie, who returned the sentiment. "So, _Sophie…_ how was your holiday?"

"Dull, Lily. _Very _dull. Too much shopping and stuffy rich people, too little common sense and tolerable company, you know how it is."

"Ugh. I'm sorry, Soph. Sounds terrible."

"Yeah, it really was. I met your mother this holiday, Sirius," she offered.

"Oh really, you saw the mistress of the 'Most Noble and Bloody Old House of Black' then?" Sirius asked, making a face.

"Is that printed on your family tree, because it really should be," Peter piped up with a chuckle.

"I think it's in the fine print there somewhere, yeah."

"I'm amazed I hadn't met your mum before this holiday. I think our mums know one another, but for some reason, I just never met you before we came to Hogwarts. I think we actually might be distantly related," Sophie said thoughtfully, tapping her finger against her chin as she did so.

"Well, that makes the feelings I've been having towards you _entirely_ inappropriate," Sirius replied with a grin.

"Shut it, Black."

--

"I am happy to report that the house elves have lost none of their skill over the holiday," Sirius managed between big bites during the start of term feast.

"And I'm glad to hear it," Peter replied with a grin, grabbing a treacle tart.

"So how many NEWT classes did you take, Lily? I have a feeling I'm going to have to drag you away from the library this year," Sophie piped up with a teasing smile, giggling while she said it.

"Oh, hush. And only six, thank you very much."

"Oh, _only_¸" Remus enunciated with a smile.

"Yes, _only. _Look who's talking, Mr. Defence Against the Dark Arts prodigy."

"Prodigy? I'm not that great, Lily," he replied, colouring slightly.

"_Sure_. Keep telling yourself that, Moony," James said with a smile. Looking up, I realized James' eyes were actually on me. Feeling my cheeks heating up, I smiled and looked down at my half-eaten plate. The more I thought about James, the more I began to like thinking about him. All the things that I used to dislike he had certainly seemed to address over the holiday. If he kept up this wonderful maturity, who knows what might happen? _Maybe I won't spend this year alone._

--

"Lily! What did Minnie just say?" Sirius stage-whispered from my left during Transfiguration the next morning.

"Just ask James, Siri. His notes are right next to you."

"But his aren't as detailed as yours. And I really don't want to talk to him, Lily," he whined in reply.

"Hey!" James interjected, obviously slightly offended.

"I didn't mean it, Prongs…well, I didn't mean it _much."_

I rolled my eyes and passed Sirius my notes. If I had kept my eyes trained on the notes, I would have noticed something peculiar. But I didn't. Good student that I am, I immediately turned my focus back to Professor McGonagall. I needed all the help I could in Transfiguration. But if I _were_ to have been paying attention to the boys, I would have noticed that Sirius, rather than copying my notes, immediately passed them to James.

James Potter was using my notes to write me a note.

Sirius passed them back to me a few minutes later with a stage-whispered, "You're the best, Lily."

"Thanks," I replied, poising my quill to continue my detailed note taking, not bothering to look down.

If I had looked, I would have noticed the note scrawled in the corner.

Head Girl-

_Meet me tonight at 9 in the Common Room._

--

"Who do you think it's from?" Sophie asked me quietly, leaning over to talk to me in Potions.

"Keep stirring the cauldron, for bloody's sake. I don't know. Probably Sirius, he had the notes."

"But what would Sirius want with you?"

"Like I'm supposed to know, Soph. I don't even know if I'm going to go, anyway," I said irritably, brushing a stray strand of red hair away from my face.

"You had better if you want me speaking to you tomorrow!"

"Why do you care, Sophie, honestly? It's dumb. It's probably just the Marauders' idea of a ridiculous joke."

"They wouldn't do something cruel to us, you know that. We have Gryffindor immunity, thank you. And I want you to go because it seems like you never take any chances anymore, and I, as future godmother to your hypothetical child…well…would like a future godchild. You're never going to meet anyone at this "study all the time and fun if I can fit it in" pace you've been working at. When was your last date?"

"Probably that ridiculous one with Remus," I replied with a snort.

"_Exactly._ It couldn't hurt you to see what this guy has to say."

"I guess you're right. Yeah, I'll go. But he better not be late," I replied, grumbling.

James Potter and Sirius Black grinned at each other behind us. They had heard every word.

--


	7. Happily Ever After

-

**Reflections**

_**Mei Queen**_

-

**Authoress' Note: **I'm sorry if the end seems stunted. But I really need to concentrate on the other seven (!) or some ludicrous number of stories that I have going at the moment. Leave reviews. I love them.

-

**Chapter 7: **Happily Ever After

-

I sighed, sinking further into the comfortable armchair in the Gryffindor Common Room. Brushing my long hair over my shoulder, I looked at my wrist to check the time. _8:59. I wonder who left me this note, and why he wants to talk to me. Is he going to be late? I hate it when boys are late. He had better not be late. I wonder what whoever it is could possibly have to talk to me about…it has to be a Gryffindor that left it because Transfiguration isn't a double class. It was probably somebody sitting by Sirius Black if not Sirius himself…_

Much to my irritation, my thoughts were then interrupted by a shaky male voice.

"Lily?"

Looking up, I was faced with none other than an extremely nervy James Potter. Noticing the shock on my face, he stuttered a moment, unsure of what to say.

When we were both silent for a few seconds, I finally regained my sense of speech. "What did you want, James?"

James' eyebrow quirked while he tapped his finger against his chin, he was obviously quite befuddled. "Um…"

"I'm supposed to be meeting someone here soon, so it would help if you could hurry up," I spat impatiently, leaning down to check my watch again. "Though he certainly seems to have a bad sense of time…"

James scuffed his foot against the cobblestone floor, looking down at his feet. "Um…Lily…I'm the one who left you the note."

Now my disbelief was _very_ evident. _What does James Potter want with me, anyway? _"Why?"

At this point, the Head Boy seemed to regain a bit of his confidence. "I have something that I want to show you."

I cocked my head to the side, analysing him suspiciously. "What?"

"You'll see. Just trust me?"

I snorted. "Why should I do that?"

James moved closer to me, now I could see his hazel eyes, dancing with desperation, lit by the firelight. "Have I ever let you down?"

-

I followed James up the corridor to the boys' dorms, allowing him to pull me into a shady niche across from the door to the 2nd Year boys' dorm.

"Do you mind telling me what's going on?" I asked exhaustedly, running a hand through my scarlet mane.

"No. We're going to use my Invisibility Cloak to sneak out of Gryffindor Tower and show you what I want you to see without getting caught."

I grinned. "Oh. Well, as long as it's not a _crazy_ plan or anything."

James returned the smile. "Crazy it isn't. Here, you're going to have to get closer to me than that if we want the cloak to fit over both of us."

I looked at him with irritation, head cocked to the side. "You're just _loving_ this, aren't you?"

He snorted with amusement. "Actually, I am. You smell lovely."

My cheeks reddened, and I managed a quiet "thank you" in reply. Huddling close to James, we descended the staircase from the boys' dorm and slowly made our way out of the crowded Common Room. It was slow going, as we were constantly paranoid about brushing against someone.

When we were finally safely on the hallway side of the Fat Lady, James tapped my shoulder, pointing to the left. "This way," he whispered softly by my ear. His warm breath there made me shudder slightly.

I nodded, walking alongside James agreeably. I could smell his light cologne. Occasionally when we stepped _just _the right way, we would brush shoulders…hands. _What the hell are you thinking, Lily? This is James Potter, Quidditch Captain, Head Boy and all-around pain in the arse. Sure, we were close as kids and he was absolutely fab then, but his head inflated so much. We can't go back. We can't just be friends like nothing happened…can we? We certainly can't get together, it doesn't work that way. Me and James…well…we wouldn't even make a good couple. I don't think we would, anyway. Yeah. Not at all. James Potter and I are hopelessly incompatible, even if Potter would be a really nice surname. But his surname is completely beside the point._

"We're here," he whispered in my ear softly. His voice gave me shivers, really unusual ones. Boys had never made me feel like this before, certainly not Remus on our awkward date from Hades. What was going on?

I nodded, surveying my surroundings. Where were we, anyway? I vaguely remember this room from the amount of times I had sent the Marauders here to polish things…we were in the Trophy Room.

Unable to contain my confusion, I swirled to face him, asking, "What are we doing here?"

James' eyes seemed to contain a haunting sadness as he opened the door softly, closing it gently behind us. After making sure that the room was, indeed, empty, he pulled the cloak off of us. _Thank God, _I thought to myself gratefully. _Feels like a ruddy oven under there. Or maybe that's just…me._

"Lily…do you know how many trophies have my name on them in here?"

I looked him irritably, cocking my head to the side and planting a hand firmly on my hip. If he thought he would get somewhere with bragging, I would definitely be forced to set him straight. "Listen, James, I know this tactic works on other girls, but…"

"…you're different," the boy echoed hollowly.

I looked down at the ground. "Well, basically, yeah. You can't expect arrogance to make a difference with me."

"Did I say I was bragging? Just answer the question."

I sighed, flinging my hands into the air. "I don't know. Ten."

"Close. It's about twelve or so, because of random Quidditch odds and ends."

I lifted an eyebrow, regarding the bloke in front of me with extreme irritation. "Now, tell me, am I supposed to care?"

"No," James Potter whispered, looking at me with his stunning hazel eyes. Moving closer to me, and closing the distance between us, he continued with, "Lily…do you know why I care about you?"

My heart began to beat very quickly, and I could feel my cheeks heating. Shaking my head, I muttered, "I haven't the slightest."

James laughed. Motioning around the room, he whispered, "It's because _none_ of this means _anything_ to you. You've always seen me a gawky kid with an attitude problem. And I have to tell you- I respect that. Even though you were pretty style-deficient when you first got to school, I'd known even then that you would be extremely important to me. I think I liked you then. But that's nothing to how I feel about you now."

My breath caught in my throat as James stepped closer to me, tentatively reaching out to take one of my delicate hands in his. Looking down at our hands in shock, I looked back up at him, murmuring, "How do you feel about me?"

I could see James' cheeks turning pink as he answered. "I love you, Lily. I tried so hard this summer to become a mature person that you would want, and I just need to know- did I manage it? Have I finally changed your mind? Please tell me you want to be with me."

I could feel my eyes beginning to water. I felt like I was in a cheesy Muggle romance, and for once, it felt pretty damn good to be its star. My vision travelling down to where James' hand was clasping mine, I squeezed his hand gently.

"I need to know something," I found myself whispering softly. _What the hell am I doing? Oh dear Merlin, I've finally gone completely mental. Still…I have to know…_

"Anything," he breathed, stepping slightly closer to me.

Closing my eyes and angling my head upward, James' lips and mine met in our first kiss. It was fantastic. James' lips were soft, just like they had always seemed. Though he didn't react for a moment (probably due to shock), he soon regained his sense of the situation, snaking an arm up my back to pull me as close as I could get. I sighed softly as the kiss got more passionate. Finally coming to my senses, I reluctantly broke the contact, looking up at him in awe.

I smiled, nodding my head. Vaguely disoriented, I said the first thing that came to my head. "I knew Potter was too good of a surname to pass up."

James looked down at me in amusement. "Excuse me? Is that a 'yes', then?"

My cheeks heated as I looked down at my feet. Collecting my thoughts, I looked back up at the boy standing opposite me. "I think it is. Yeah."

-

Sophie Lestrange's line of questioning when I got back was absolutely relentless. Finally, I told him in whispered undertones about everything that had happened.

"So, you finally gave in, huh?" the blonde asked sarcastically, idly picking up a file from her bed stand.

My heart sank slightly. I was definitely hoping for a little more enthusiasm. "Sophie, you weren't there. I went in with every intention of turning him down again, but there was just something about being in that room and having him honestly tell me that he loved the fact that I didn't see him as some 'star'. It was honest, Soph. It was real. I know he loves me, just because…he actually voluntarily is going for a girl that will prick his inflated ego rather than cushion it. That has to mean something. And…I know this will sound weird, but do you ever think that maybe it's possible to have loved someone for a long time, but just never have been aware of it?"

Sophie cocked her head to the side, analysing me more fully. "You do love him, don't you?"

I snorted, looking down at my clasped hands. My head still felt fuzzy. Every few moments, my mind drifted back to that kiss in the Trophy Room and how I had come back to the Common Room on Cloud Nine, holding hands with James Potter…the very boy I had claimed to despise a few years earlier. _It's funny how life works out sometimes_, I couldn't help thinking with a grin. "I really think I do."

She sighed, putting down the file, getting up from her bed and coming over to mine. "Well then. There's only one thing for it."

I looked at her nervously. "What?"

Sophie jumped on my bed, wrapping her arms around me. "Congratulations!"

My face broke into a grateful smile, hugging my best friend back. "Thank you, Soph…you're absolutely wonderful."

She grinned in reply. "Someone has to be, my dear. And while we're talking about wonderful, we should see how Wonderboy reacts when he meets your darling sister, you know. It would certainly show how well he works under pressure."

I giggled. "Um…we'll see."

-

I can remember that time of my life as one of the best: the first moments of mine and James Potter's relationship. We were a great team, Head Students or not. We worked so well together it even seemed a pity that we hadn't gotten together sooner. James kept me in a generally good mood; I kept his ego at a healthy level. We complimented each other like nothing I had ever experienced before. But most of all, we were _happy. _James and I lived out our 7th Year in peace, hanging out with the Marauders and Sophia Lestrange as much as was physically possible. It was like the two years of fighting between me and James had never actually happened, we grew _that_ close.

The burgeoning war with You-Know-Who was something definitely felt within the walls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and as the year drew to a close, the attacks got more and more frequent. I would check the paper daily, incredibly nervous for my family.

-

Then, one fateful night in April of 7th Year, James and I were up late working on some point totals for the Headmaster. We had to have them done by the next day, much to our frustration. As I threw down my quill in exhaustion, I cradled my head in my hands. Feeling my boyfriend's strong arms envelop me, I began to cry. The picture in the Daily Prophet that morning had been of my house…with a shining, menacing Dark Mark adorning the sky above it. Petunia had made it out, so I was naturally expecting some type of hate mail from her any day now.

"Sshh, baby, it will be okay," James whispered mindlessly, making small circles on my back.

"It's _not_ okay, James!" I screamed, allowing more tears to make their flowing way out. "They're not coming back!"

James closed his eyes, pulling my head down to rest on his shoulder. "Darling, it's going to be all right. Do you know how I know?"

I shook my head, sniffling, not really caring that I probably looked horribly blotchy.

"Because I will never let anyone hurt you, Lily. You are everything to me. If anything were to ever happen, I would die for you without a second thought. I hope you know that. You are always safe with me," he murmured, stroking my hair.

More tears.

"Lily, stop crying, sweetheart," James whispered, setting me back in my chair.

"Why should I?" I asked in frustration, wrapping my arms around my ribcage.

"Because I need to ask you something, and I need your full attention," he retorted simply.

Looking at him, I wasn't entirely prepared for what met my eyes. James Potter was on one knee, a black velvet box in his hand.

I could feel my throat constrict. "Oh my God."

"I'm not proposing to you because I feel sorry for you, I want to make that very clear, Lily. I bought this a few weeks ago. I know most people marry after dating for a few years, but I, frankly, don't see a point in waiting. I want to marry you right after we get out of here. I want to protect you during hard times. I want to cherish you during the good. You mean everything to me, and I want a chance to make you the happiest woman in the world."

Nodding my head through the quickly falling tears, I felt a ring with a sizable diamond slid on to my finger. Reaching over to hug him, I whispered into his ear, "Thank you, James. Thank you for everything."

-

Some people find the way that James and I got together unrealistic. They say that just because a boy professes his love for you do not mean that you should (or will) return his feelings. I guess James Potter and I were lucky…blessed that somewhere, deep down, I felt for him too. All of that passion I had directed towards utter loathing of him for a few years was misdirected, and quickly re-routed into something far healthier and more meaningful- _true, honest **love.** _

So, as I close this diary of memoirs, I want to remind people of a few things. Love is something that most people can't fathom, but can definitely feel. Go with what your heart tells you, even if what it's telling you seems insane or impossible. You will never know until you try. Also, sometimes the best people are in the places you least expect. If you had told my fifth year self that I would one day marry James Potter and have the most beautiful baby boy you can imagine, I would have told you to take a short trip to the madhouse. But here we are…me, James, our baby Harry…and my reflections.

-


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